And the painful poetry continues with yet another Christmas Saga:
Turkey Attack
The day that the turkey
Attacked us at dinner
Came in an ordinary
Christmassy winter
Grandma had taken
The plates to the table
Dad had been fixing
A leg that’s unstable
He folded a napkin
And stuffed it beneath
The wobbly leg
With a bow from the wreath
My young cousin Annie
All dressed up in lace
Was kicking poor Fanny
As she tried to say Grace
She said “bless this turkey
And pies in the oven”
And then there was a shudder
And all of a sudden
The turkey rolled over
Dad checked the table
But found when he looked
The leg was quite stable
The turkey was moving!
There wasn’t a doubt!
It climbed from the plate
And stumbled about!
Big chunks of stuffing
were flying around
that were eagerly grabbed
By the dog off the ground
Fanny was howling
Mom all a flutter
Annie was scowling
As the bird squished the butter
Granddad nearly stabbed Dad in the eye
With a steak knife
While keeping the bird from the pie
Then Grandma stood up
And with a great sigh
She took hold of the bird
By one meaty thigh
It wriggled and jiggled
And put up a fight
But Granny held firm
And to all our delight
She carved up the bird
As it struggled and shook
No match for this
Octogenarian cook
It stilled at last
As she finished the carving
To the relief of us all
For we were quite starving!
So after that day
We moved on to goose
Or ham or a duck
Or even a moose
But never a turkey
They were too messy
And Fanny refused
To say dinner blessings!
-December 18, 2013
