An Elf Tale
Ecki the elf wasn’t proud of himself
For the way he’d behaved at the party
He'd caused quite a fright
Set the curtains alight
Which earned him the new name of “Farty”
He had good intentions
Showing off his inventions
And ideas for many new toys
Dolls that would fart
And toy jets that could start
Would cheer many girls and boys
He learned however
That to put them together
Wasn’t a good thing to do
For the jet engine’s flame
Met the dolly’s methane
And up Santa’s curtains flames flew!
Luckily for all
Santa was called
And to everyone’s great delight
With a nod and a wink and a touch of his nose
The flames were put out for the night!
For unlucky Ecki his night wasn’t over
As a wide path formed in the room
A fierce Mrs Claus came like a bulldozer
Wearing an expression of doom!
She lifted the elf in her giantess paw
And he dangled in front of her face
“Ecki the elf!” boomed the voice of Herself
“Why are you such a disgrace!”
Her face was quite red
Dear lord I am dead!
He knew he was in for it now
She shook him with anger
He shivered from danger
And sweat came to bead on his brow
“Ecki the Elf no toys shall you make”
Shamefully Ecki’s head hung
“your new task for now for all of our sakes
Is to shovel the reindeer’s dung!”
Some people laughed
Some people mumbled
Santa closed his big eyes and he grumbled
But no one would dare the wrath of the Mrs
Whose anger’s as bad as an ice-demon’s kisses!
Santa had bigger problems to consider
With ever more toys each year to deliver
The sleigh and the reindeer were getting quite tired
And the just weren’t as fast as Santa desired
But with Mrs Claus’s edict in place
He could at least ease the poor elf’s disgrace.
“But first my wee friend, and this one is certain
There’s one more thing you must do
You’ll make us a brand new set of felt curtains
So the very next day
While all were away
Fixing up toys in the shop
Ecki went up to the house made of snow
And yards and metres of felt did he sew
Until the curtains were perfect and shiny and red
And he crawled back into his little elf bed.
In the morning however as he came awake
He sighted a shovel and a dirty old rake
Leaning beside his little elf bed
Ecki rolled over and covered his head
“Best get it done with Farty my friend,
The sooner it starts, the sooner it ends”
Ecki’s igloomate Myrf said with mirth
As he pulled on his coat over un-elf-like girth
So shovelling poop and scraping up dung
Ecki would work until the bell rung
The reindeer would tinkle and jingle along
And Ecki would whistle and sing Christmas songs
Until one fine day when the hoar-frost was high
And Ecki was in reindeer dung to his thigh
when and idea just sparkled and poof bright as day
he suddenly knew how to boost Santa’s sleigh!
So he set off to work with his dollies and jets
And methane and lighters and robotic sets
And come Christmas morning Santa greeted
With a jet-powered sleigh upon which was seated
A tiny wee elf who he knew as “Farty”
Who would come to be known as the little elf “Smarty”!
December 18, 2013
December 18, 2013
